Comfortable stranger...

Sometimes it seems so hard to understand "why"...

Why do I still suffer this much each time I try to think of you?

Why do I still cry each time I see a picture of us?

I've got so many good memories left in my heart that make difficult to leave the past behind...

So hard to move on without thinking of them...

I stopped feeling the same person since we decided to move on with our lives.

I've totally changed...

Sometimes It seems I don't even recognise myself anymore...

No matter how hard I try, I know I will not be the same again...

I feel so lonely, but at the same time I feel comfortable with it.

A company seems to not be needed since your presence seems to be gone for an indefinitely time.

I miss you!!

That’s the true...

And that I think might be the reason why this loneliness doesn't bother me that much.

What really bother me is your presence and the fact you're not here...

I could still be beside you this very instant... but life forced us to move on and choose our path separately.

I hope to meet you again, some day later...

It will still be the same?

Will our friendship last long enough and strong enough to join us again when that day come?

Who knows?!

Strange is... For me the answer seems to be "NO".

After all the pain we been through and the way you decided to move on with your life doesn't seem it will allow us to be together again as we use to...

I had faith on us... but I lost it within the time we were braking apart.

Now I only got hopes...

Will that be enough??

I don't know...

But what I know is it will help me to relax in some ways...

The same ways it does hurt me...

Strangely but comfortably...

Reminding of you...

Ca dentro onde ninguem me ve...

Uma lagrima...
Demostra tantos sentimentos num so momento...
E a dor e ao mesmo tempo o alivido da alma, o desabafar das palavras ocultas que acabao por permanecer intactas devido ao seu derrame.
Gostaria de entender porque e que ha palavras que chamam sempre por uma lagrima, imagens que nos fazem chorar apertando-nos por dentro...
Porque?
Procuro sempre entender o porque mas parece que o ser humano nao foi destinado a conhecer os secredos do amor e da dor de perder alguem que amamos...
Abre-se uma ferida grande... Mas eu mantenho-a so para mim, curando-me com o tempo e mostrando um sorriso ao mundo para nao partelhar o que me vai na alma, para nao acabar por chorar...
Procuro sempre lugar esolado mas nao encontro lugar nenhum onde possa fugir de tudo e todos que me perturbao e magoao...
Por vezes ate nem e preciso ver ou ouvir algo para chorar, basta simplesmente fechar os olhos e relembrar...
"Onde estas? Quem me dera que estivesses aqui..." parece ser o suficiente para chamar por uma lagrima, as restantes vao caindo consuante vou lembrando de quando eu era feliz ao lado de alguem...
Cada uma parece magoar imenso, cada uma tambem faz com que me arrependa das voltas que a vida da...
Quem me dera que a vida nao fosse decidida por destino...
Gostaria estar onde tu estas... e nao estar dentro de mim esolado, onde ninguem me ve sofrer...

Away from the sun...

Away from the sun...
I can't feel any warmth at all.
Why?
Is the question that I asked myself but I've never found an answer.
Cold days full of sadness take place when hard times seems to appeared.
Life seems to take down all the moments of happyness transforming them into a scene of memories fading in front of my eyes.
Why do I feel like this?

Why do I feel my body so far from my own soul?
Why does this feelings hurt so much?

Why do I feel so tired of living?
Why...?
So many "whys" I've got in my mind but not many "because..." as an answer for my doubts.
Living an unknown life I'm going through a path where I don't know where it will end...

and as a blind man I walk...

I'm walking but not feeling where I'm steping on...

I'm walking not seeing where I'm going...

I simply feel disconnected from this world...

but...

where am I then?

I look at the sky in times like this hoping to free my mind and find peace in the stars and in the silence of the space...

But even the silence seems to be so noisy, it seems i can not find peace to scape from stress of life...

I just end up each day crying releasing my angers, fears, sadnesses, pains and lonelyness...

I wanna call for someone but my voice seems to miss...

I wanna feel the warmth of another body cause everthing seems to be so cold when they are taken alone.

I don't wanna be alone...

I wanna be in a place where darkness can not reach...

I wanna be where the sun rise and where I can see...

I wanna be born and taken where i was taken away from the sun...

Close to you...

I would like to be there and never return...

I never thought I would look at the sky and envy the stars...

The light of each bright star expands and shows all its freedom...

I would like to be like them... and just think of who's gonna see me this night, who's gonna like me each night I show up in the sky, who thinks of me as a romance symbol, who thinks of me as a gift from someone...

And not worrying about tomorrow... the stress of each day, the life we basically are forced to live and the pain of love and not being loved...

By looking at them I can see they don't worry about none of these human things..

Lucky them!!

They don't cry, feel, hurt, share or even talk... they just limit themselves to listen to what the earth's got to say..

So many different voices they can hear, so many different feelings they can see without dropping a tear...

They can see beyond the human vision...

Human race is blind for the rest of the world, they can only see a better way to earn money, the funniest way to enjoy life, the easiest way to not suffer...

I try my best to understand why do I suffer too much.

And why I can't be like a star... who doesn't fear anything... who lives free in space where no one can hold them back...

Some of them fly...

Some of them rest in the same place where they were born...

Some of them... are watching over us, curious...

Not knowing what we are going through each day we end up crying...

Each walk we take after a simple phone call or even a conversation...

Each time spent on the top of the roof and just contemplating them...

They just don't know what we are doing, thinking or even feeling...

They are not heartless... they are just lucky for not having any type of emotions...

I would like to be like them...

I would like to be forgotten by the world and start again without loving, feeling, or even knowing who I was and then cry...

By just looking at the sky and envying the stars...

The endless world...

It seems that a hundred days has already passed since we broke apart...
So many memories left in a lonely heart where darkness took place...
So many words unsaid ketp inside where now hurts everytime your name is called in time of sadness. I went for a walk...
I walked under the "Winter" rain, feeling absolutely nothing... just watching the rain pouring down in my face... Closing my eyes I start thinking of you.
It feels so hard to leave what we've been through behind, a tear falls down showing clearly my deep feeling and how's it feel to not have you around.
Never felt my heart so hurted... I would like to move on like you did, I would like to rewind the time and have you in my arms again...
Why isn't that possible???
Why being hurt is easy and being love by someone is so much harder???
Maybe I will never understand why that happens.
The only thing I seem to know is "living without you is the hardest thing I ever tried" and "The world seems so dark when you don't have who you love around"
The seasons pass one by one, leaving the feeling of hopeless visions of mine...
Dreams forcing me to cry all night long...
Each day I wake up I wake up asking myself why do I still exist?
It feels like I've visited the end of the world and returned without soul...
My eyes get tired of just dreaming of your face, they wanna see you...
My hands get tired of feeling your touch and knowing your're not there, they wanna touch you and feel the warmth of your body once again...
I see you in my dreams... I feel you next to me in cold nights...
I can see above the sky if you touch my hand...
Have you ever thought how can I do all this without you???
No you haven't... I...
I'm missing you in this endless world without you even noticing... ='(

A menssagem...

Tentei ocultar ate eskecer-t por completo mas fui incapaz de guardar as saudades k sentia... as lagrimas k derramei a tua frente nao forao nada mais nada menos k a dor k eu estou a paxar por simplesmente tentar habituar-me a viver sem ti!! Eu sinto k estou de mal com o mundo inteiro, ninguem me entende, ninguem e suficientemente amigo, ninguem serve para nada... encontro-me numa revoluxao ao kal nao consigo me ver livre. Gostaria de poder pedir-t k fikasxes cmg para smp, mas ai estaria a ser egoista... mas e por causa dexa minha falta de egoismo k sofro dia e noite kando simplesmente fexo os olhos e lembro-m de ti! mas tal como sabes o k prometo cumpro!! mas so falhei kando te prometi k iria ultrapaxar esta faxe!! descupa.. ninguem e perfeito, e se dizes k eu sou, digo-t k sem ti nao me sinto nem um pouco... sinto-m um puzzle sem metade das pexas!!! "INCOMPLETO" Gostaria de poder juntar as tuas saudades as minhas e voltarmos a ser um so de novo... pk a verdade e k sinto mxm mt a tua falta mas eu e k nao falo, para k nao des conta k eu ainda nem consegui ultraxar nem um pouco exa faxe e k as memorias magoao tdx dias!! SO kero k saibas k nao gosto de ti "eu AMO-TE" e eu eskeci... eskeci como e possivel eskecer-t!!! MISS YA TE AMO mais do kalker pexoa poxa imaginar!! "you will always be my heart and my soul no metter wat!!!" LOVE YA (B&B)

Tudo e possivel menos ser feliz sem ti...

Desta ultima vez que confrontei-me com o passado, custou-me mais nao sei porque...
Nunca pensei que depois de tanto tempo os meus sentimentos ainda podessem magoar tanto...
Agora digo-te com toda a certeza... "Nunca te irei esquecer e irei amar-te para sempre".
Pois o destino parece nao reservar-me outra coisa para alem desta enorme solidao. Ja tentei de tudo mas... e escusado.
Por vezes da-me vontade de dar tudo que tenho so para saber porque e que Deus te enquadrou na minha vida como um puzzle mas ao qual eu nao possuo todas as pecas, entristesendo-me facilmente quando olho ao meu redor a procura de um motivo para sorrir, quando de repente dou por mim de lagrimas nos olhos sentindo o fazio que a tua ausencia provoca...
Gostaria de te pedir que voltasses, mas nao e facil.
Gostaria de te pedir que nunca me abandones, mas nao e tao simples como parece.
Gostaria de parar o tempo um pouco so para te poder abracar, sentir, cheirar...
Gostaria tanto de aprender a nao sentir o vazio quando me lembro de ti, de nao chorar cada vez que me lembro que aqui ja nao estas, de fraquejar quando decido definitivamente que irei te esquecer.
Custa tanto seguir em frente quando tudo que mais amas-te nesta vida esta no passado...
Pergunto-me se algum dia conseguirei seguir em frente... enquanto isso ouco tantas vozes, anciando ouvir a tua, sonho noites seguidas desejando que estes se tornem realidade, aguardo pelo dia em que te irei dizer "Voltei so pra ti, finalmente!" E finalmente voltar a sorrir por um motivo...

(B&B) MISS YOU :'(